I’ve always been someone that has asked a lot of questions. I’m also the kind of person that if someone answers my question, I will still investigate it to make sure it is experientially true for me. I don’t know why I’m like this, I’ve just always been very inquisitive.
When I was 15 years old I came upon a green book lying around my house. It happened to be a library copy of Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. Being curious, I opened the book and started to read. I was immediately taken in.
Levitating Yogis and The Prospect of Enlightenment
This book is more than just an autobiography; it is a man’s epic journey of spiritual evolution painted in such a lively way it is as if you are right there beside him. The book is filled with beautiful stories and adventures detailing Yogananda’s childhood through adulthood as he describes in vivid detail encounters with supernatural Saints, Yogis, and Masters. As I studied page after page something deep within me resonated. I found myself crying after every few pages. What brings tears like this to a young girl’s eyes? I knew nothing of Indian mysticism, meditation, gurus, or yogi’s yet something in this book was powerful enough to affect me to my very core.
Bhaduri Mahasaya The Levitating Saint, Chapter 7 of Autobiography of a Yogi
It didn’t take long to finish the book and soon my mind was racing with curious tales of levitating yogis, astral dimensions, Masters that could manifest a physical body out of thin air and Saints that consciously left their body on their own terms (mahasamadhi). But beyond all these mystical feats I was interested in something far greater. My mind reeled with the newly impregnated awareness of attaining Self Realization aka Enlightenment in this lifetime.
“It must be possible”, I thought. Yogananda wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble to bring Kriya Yoga to the West without there being a reason. My young mind was excited and eager to get started on my own epic mystical journey. Following the simple prompts from the book, I sat in easy pose, closed my eyes and focused my gaze between my eyebrows. Slowly I watched my breath and sat wondering, “Is this meditation? Am I doing it already?” Being 15 years old with no other prior programming, I didn’t know if meditation was easy or difficult. I just knew that Yogananda did it and if he could, then I could.
From Doubtful Mind To Samadhi – The Progressive States of Conscious Evolution
Fairly quickly I managed to relax my body/mind enough to where I started to feel a curious vibration surrounding my body. It had a pleasant nature and was gentle and warm. At that time this familiar vibratory feeling surrounded my entire body. My mind was relaxed and at ease. I didn’t know what this was but somehow I trusted it and allowed myself to go deeper and deeper into it.
As I continued in my meditations I noticed that they weren’t always the same. Sometimes I would cry as if I was releasing eons of pent up karmic impressions built up over lifetimes. It was a sorrow that hit so deep that it often left my body weak and shaking. Though scary as it sounds, I was always left feeling significantly lighter and somehow less burdened. Did I ask myself what was happening to me? Certainly. Though what came out during my meditations was certainly alarming I decided it must be a catharsis of some kind and I soldiered on. Interestingly, it was never more than I could handle and it was always followed by such warmth and love. Intuitively I just knew that what was occurring was for my highest good, and so I carried on.
Other times my meditations merged into various states of samadhi consciousness where ‘I’ was beautifully absent; “I” rose beyond the body/mind organism and I remained in a detached witnessing state of conscious awareness. There was no deciding how my meditations would go; sometimes they were cathartic and released a lot of emotion, sometimes I had vivid visions, sometimes I sensed energy both in and around me, and sometimes I felt as if every cell in my body was bursting with orgasmic ecstasy. I was along for the ride and I was happy to not be in the driver’s seat. I willingly let existence take the lead as I knew that an element of trust and letting go was inherent when one is walking the spiritual path.
I continued with my meditation in this way for many years. Soon I too had mystical cosmic experiences that were too crazy to believe – yet they are true; I can experientially vouch for them. These siddhis always came spontaneously and unannounced and served as a tool to help me break through the limitations of my mind. We are not what we think we are. Physical reality is not what it appears to be. Perhaps a more interesting consequence to meditation is the spontaneous ‘downloading’ of information in packets of data that come unannounced but always at the right time. When your mind becomes more purified accessing information from the universe becomes effortless and automatic.
The Outer Results Of a Meditative Mind
More importantly I began to change outwardly. People started to notice a quiet calm I exuded. My emotions were no longer high spikes of uncontrollable energy. I became more intuitive and highly observant of my surroundings. My sensitivity to people, places and things had increased exponentially and I soon lost desire for materials, relationships, and even ego-satisfying accolades. At the same time, my aversions also disappeared and I found myself willingly forgiving and letting go of past trauma, tragedy, and suffering. I intuitively understood through compassionate empathy that everyone is doing the best that they can and no one truly wants to suffer. Through this deep compassion I was able to bear witness to other’s pain and even spend moments with the actively dying. This compassionate act of simply being with another in a very simple way helped in their transition as well as my own healing. I learned that the continuing expansion of our conscious awareness allows us to remain equanimous to all life experiences.
As one continues in their meditation practice the mind becomes less fragmented, chaotic and impulsive. We learn to tame this wild animal and control it instead of it controlling us. The ability to do this is directly related to the true purpose of meditation; to shed the thick layers of identification while progressively revealing one’s true nature. We are not our physical body, mind, thoughts, memories, desires and aversions. If we are not these accumulations then we come to experientially know that the body/mind is a miraculous tool that can be used to explore creation.
As we slowly develop and expand our conscious awareness we also become capable of harnessing more power/energy. Our body/mind vibrates on a much higher frequency and this also has the profound ability to affect physical reality much faster and with greater ease than in a limited low vibratory state. That is why many masters make sadhaks wait to be initiated in many systems and cultures. Energy is energy and one must be mature enough to handle power in a way that benefits instead of desecrates.
When The Student Is Ready The Teacher Will Come
And now, my exploration into consciousness continues. It is a beautiful journey and continues to surprise me with the many new miracles and mysteries revealed to me on a daily basis. I am now under the guidance of my guru which has exponentially increased my efforts beyond words. At first my meditations were quite explosive with spontaneous kriyas that occurred as the karmic load was being released from my egoic structure. However, as the energy settled and my mind/body adjusted to the higher frequencies pulsing through me everyday my quality of consciousness has elevated to a state of vibrant joy, bliss, and a deep peace that can no longer be shaken. I am forever grateful to all the benevolent beings that have crossed my path both incarnate and disincarnate. They have all served to further my conscious expansion and evolution.
Life is truly beautiful, wonderous and magical when your perspective rises high enough to see everything from a distance. You realize life isn’t so serious and what ‘you’ think you are is just another part of the whole. Laughing, singing, dancing and spontaneous expression of joy is an everyday experience for me and though I keep my body/mind focused in the here and now, every now and then I allow myself to look back to those early days of conscious exploration and discovery. It was a very sweet time full of adventure, courage, compassion, and above all understanding; the understanding that we are so much more than what we think we are.
Lessons Learned:
- There Are No Rules
- Have No Expectations
- Be Interested But Detached
- Stay Curious
- Be Open To Possibilities
- Go Within to Get Beyond
- Allow Transformation in Unpredictable Ways
- Trust
- Be Willing To Be Less While Becoming More
- Be Courageous
No Rules, No Expectations, Interested But Detached
My young mind was unburdened with previous programs of what meditation is, how to do it, why one does it, what happens when you do it, what technique is best, what time is best, what position is best, empty stomach or full stomach, mantra or no mantra, in front of shrine or on bedroom carpet, etc. etc. I couldn’t care less about all these ‘rules’ because it simply never occurred to me. I just sat with no expectations. When things did start to happen I remained interested but detached. In this way my meditation practice evolved over time and of course my perceptions of life and understanding of myself also evolved.
Stay Curious, Open To Possibilities, Go Within To Get Beyond, Transformation in Unpredictable Ways
It is vitally important to stay curious as you embark on your spiritual journey. Masters, sages and teachers have always said, “Be like a child; fresh, new, inquisitive”. The reason they say this is because they know how limiting our minds can be when we enter into something with preconceived ideas. Only we can limit ourselves. Staying curious and open to possibilities puts you in the best position to receive whatever it is that you need to experience. Meditation is going within to get beyond your current ‘you’. Understand that meditation is the process of disintegration of the ego and this transformative process occurs in unpredictable ways. Stay present and allow what needs to happen while knowing that everything is happening for your best and highest good.
Trust, Be Willing To Be Less In Order To Become More, Be Courageous
As we shed our egoic limitations through meditation we may come upon some unpleasant emotions in order to process and let go. All spiritual aspirants have one thing in common, they have an insatiable thirst to know their true nature and willingly surrender their personal will in order to become more. If you are willing to go within, feel it, process it, and get beyond it you will evolve consciously at a very intense rate. Although we all see meditators as serene and peaceful they have all had to fight their inner demons to experience the ‘dark night of the soul’. Spiritual warriors embody the word ‘courageous’ because transformation takes a great deal of perseverance, effort, and discipline.
If you are ready to embark on your spiritual journey and would like a coach to help guide, enlighten, and empower you in staying the course please contact me! I would love to work with you!
